Thursday, May 10
I have mixed feelings with this whole mothers day thing coming up. If I was paranoid (which I probably am in some regards) I would think that it only exists to remind me about my own inability to become a mother myself. There isn't anything physically wrong with me, but hubby got his tubes cut after he had the second child with his now ex-wife. It probably isn't the greatest idea for me to keep talking about it, but I cannot and will not let the emotions break me down from the inside because I hope to make them go away by ignoring them. They will never go away. They will always be there as a reminder about something which wasn't for me to be.
People keep talking about how becoming parents makes their life whole and thereby indicating how people, who for one reason or another cannot concieve are less than those who can. This is probably one of very few things in life, which I will never be able to accept. I keep hoping and keep getting drawn to look for solutions which can give that feeling of wholeness even though reality dictates something else.
Typed by Sara . on 4:02 AM - Link - Comments
Wednesday, May 9
I'm having this weird feeling tonight, that I'm missing out on something because I''m not somewhere else or doing something other than what I'm doing right now. Maybe because I just woke up from a good nap where I was having the experience of dreaming about someone I have never been dreaming about before and whom I have never met other than online meetings in various groups. It all probably doesn't mean anything though...
Typed by Sara . on 9:59 PM - Link - Comments
Just another one of those quiet sunny (might change later) days, where you feel like letting go of all responsebilities and do something just for you, with only a very minimal cosideration towards others. As usual it didn't work out that way, but the thought is nice and maybe next time I'll do it.
Typed by Sara . on 6:17 PM - Link - Comments
Tuesday, May 8
Hubby have a doctors appointment today, to get the results of the xrays which was taken last week and to determine where to go from here in regards to his shoulder. I really hope that it turns out to be something which can be taken care of without too much downtime for him. It will make it much easier on many accounts (not to forget the bank account).New Blurp: The x-rays didn't give the answer we had hoped/wished for, so hubby have been scheduled for a MRI next week. This is not what we needed to hear, because it means that he'll be out of commission for a while. Damn :(
Typed by Sara . on 1:22 PM - Link - Comments
Monday, May 7
One woman, one baby and 6 men. Who is the daddy...? *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb*That is how short you can sum up todays Maury Show.
Typed by Sara . on 3:44 PM - Link - Comments
