Crunchblog

Not a whole lot to say today, other than I'm trying to catch up on everything and anything I might have missed while being away the last couple of days. For the first time I didn't even think about the computer during the days offline and it felt good. Think I have needed the time off after the recent online vents :)
Sara wrote on 1:51 PM - Link - Comments

Thursday, May 24

I looked at the stats for the "Am I real or not" poll I have down below and they kinda makes me wonder. Unless any family have been reading and voting no one really knows if I'm real or not, and yet those who have voted have all said yes. How can you be sure that I'm not just another internet hoax, someone pulling the collective legs of the entire internet community or a cleverly written program which makes a post every so often? How do you all know? I'm not sure if I'm a real human playing a real robot or a real robot playing a real human or something somewhere in between.

It is sad the recent incident have managed to make so many people doubt not only themselves and their own words and actions, but also doubt everyone else. I don't think the community ever will be the same. We will still see people publish their words, but they will always bear the tint of doubt and mistrust. I'm seeing it already. I'm seeing people questioning themselves, trying to prove their own existence over and over again and fighting each other in the process. It is making me sad.
Sara wrote on 6:05 PM - Link - Comments

I've been sitting here for the last hour trying to type a few words about something which is so heavily on my mind these days, but I cannot publish them for eveyone to see and read. It involves close relatives and I know if those words gets published it will make things very difficult for us all. I guess the only thing I really can do is to supress what is on my mind and hope that I will forget the up-close personal pain which is involved. I know it is no healty to do so, but it is the only choice I have unless I want to make everyone feel misrable. :(
Sara wrote on 4:09 PM - Link - Comments

I was following a discussion somewhere, with people talking about the communication the had with people who had been visiting/reading their websites/blogs. I couldn't understand why they seemd to get so much mail just because of their sites, until it dawned on me, that I didn't have a working email link. Duh! Anyway, there is NO excuse anymore. The link is down between the counter and the link back to blogger.
Sara wrote on 1:58 PM - Link - Comments

Why is it that everytime I don't have a whole lot to say (if anything at all), I feel like redesigning one of my sites? The more they grow, the more work I have to do, since I am still stuck having to do everything by hand instead of being able to use one of the programming languages which would make things a lot easier for me. Maybe one of these days I'll be able make it easier for myself, instead of having to change 500+ sites by hand. :(
Sara wrote on 11:48 AM - Link - Comments

Wednesday, May 23

Ack I need to go and go mindnumb infront of the tv for a while. Spending this much time online the last couple of days have quite litarally worn me to the bones. I need to get off this chair and give my back a much needed rest. You you on the flipside (maybe)
Sara wrote on 8:51 PM - Link - Comments

I looks like hubby might avoid surgery right now. Yesterday the surgeon said he didn't want to use surgery except as a last resort if the shoulder couldn't improve with physical therapy. that is good news and at least we don't have to worry about hubby being off work while healing for surgery (yet)
Sara wrote on 4:36 PM - Link - Comments

I don't think I'm going to say much more about the whole "Kaycee"/Debbie incident, since it is in the hands of those being able to prosecute if it comes down to that. But the more I get to know about what has been going on, the more I'm sitting here being baffled to no end. It really amazes me how "Debbie" was able to pull it off for so long, without making any really big mistakes along the way, but what really get to me is WHY did she do it int he first place. Why did she spin off Kaycee as a cancer patient when she discovered what her daughter and friends where doing? I wonder if we ever will get the whole story about this, or if it will be one of those where people will continue to say their what ifs... Very spooky indeed.
Sara wrote on 11:53 AM - Link - Comments

Tuesday, May 22

Man the whole Debbie/Kaycee story is growing to scary dimentions, very scary dementions. The Debbie person now claims, that it was a couple of girls which was hanging around the house who played the CC role. According to Debbie, her own daughter wasn't involved. Debbie took over the sscenario when she realised what the girls were duing and blew it even more out of dementions. There is so much to tell here, so please go and read for a better summary than I'm able to give. All I can say is, that it's going to be freaking huge.
Sara wrote on 10:42 AM - Link - Comments

Monday, May 21

Ack this is one of those days where I wish I had 1. a drivers license and 2. money on hand, because I just discovered that Blockbuster have a fair selection of Danish/Nordic movies. I have been searching high and low for a while to find a way to get my hand on Danish movies but haven't had to monies to buy a VCR which can play both PAL and SECAM and convert between the two formats. The cheapest one I have seen is about $600 which isn't an amount of money I have for every day spending. One of these days I'm going to talk Bob into renting some of those movies and then I'm going to spend time infront of the tv going more square eyed than I am from sitting infront of a computer monitor all day long :) Hmm my birthday is coming up soon (June 9th), so maybe there's something there ;P
Sara wrote on 8:38 PM - Link - Comments

I have been spending a great deal of the weekend reading and following this message thread and later this one, when the news about Kaycee/Debbie broke. I never invested too much in the blogs, other than linking to them and making the odd comment here and there, and I am not sure what to think about it all. Yes, somewhere I was captiwated by the spirit shown in the writings of Kaycee, because she seemed to be someone who had an enormous appetite on life despite suffering from a deadly illness. She made my own struggles seem small in comparison and put some things into perspective. But obviously I was duped or had like most other people who had invested greater or smaller amount of energy in "Kaycees" ordeal.
Sara wrote on 3:44 AM - Link - Comments

Sunday, May 20

Friday, May 18

Darn I wish hubby would call or email me to tell how the appointment went earlier today, but nada, nothing and probably won't be until he get home from work tonight. I hate waiting and specially not for news about something which can affect the next many months so much. Damn it.
Sara wrote on 6:24 PM - Link - Comments

It is a nightmare trying to find soemthing interesting on the tv in the spring and summer months. Everything is reruns of the reruns of the reruns etc. Very little material is something which haven't been sent before. Maybe I ought to find one of those obscure channals I never watch and force myself to take a look. :)
Sara wrote on 2:47 PM - Link - Comments

Thursday, May 17

Ees they're mowing the lawn right now and it's making one heck of a noice. Wish they could do it when neither hubby or I am home, but then they wouldn't be able to keep it under the allowed 8" (city code)) since I'm not getting out on a regualr basis.
Sara wrote on 5:35 PM - Link - Comments

*yawn* early morning here. The cats decided the bed needed to be included in their practice for the next Indy 500. It happens every morning somewhere between 5 and 5.30am and usually I am able to to go back to sleep, but not today. Guess I'll have to try and catch some sleep later in the day.
Sara wrote on 6:12 AM - Link - Comments

Wednesday, May 16

I am tired, but sleep doesn't give me the rest I need. When I woke up this morning it actually felt like I had had a good night sleep, but a couple of hours later the tiredness hit me like a train in motion. One minute wide awake, the next sitting up sleeping.
Sara wrote on 9:30 PM - Link - Comments

Tuesday, May 15

I am having the worst cravings and jitters today. I want a cigaret so badly, but I also want to be able to breathe without worries and concerns. God have mercy on anyone coming cross me the wrong way. I feel like I am ready to jump the gun.
Sara wrote on 1:01 PM - Link - Comments

Monday, May 14

People must be having some real issues with Aetna Health Insurance. It is on a second place of the 10 most frequent search terms used when "In the blink of an eye..." shows up in the search engines. I really hope the hits is from people doing research as possibile costumors of Aetna and not because they're having major problems getting Aetna to provide what their doc finds necessarry. Hubby and I were lucky, that we got our issues with Aetna solved pretty quickly, but we have heard that more people within the company are still having problems. :( Hope they get it solved pretty soon.
Sara wrote on 11:26 PM - Link - Comments

Darn I thought I could stop checking pages so closely in NN 4.7 when I do new things, but about 10% of those visiting my various pages are using NN 4.7 so I guess I have to wait a little while longer.
Sara wrote on 8:43 PM - Link - Comments

A while back I wrote about how I had stopped smoking, but I didn't make it :( Hubby had been smoking outside, but then moved to do it inside again and then I just couldn't help myself to a cig. But I'm trying again. Hubby suggested that he started to only smoke outside again. I really hope I can manage it this time around. Smoking was/is not the cause of all my breathing problems, but it sure will make it easier if I can eliminate them this time around. Please cross your fingers that I'll make it this time.
Sara wrote on 6:32 PM - Link - Comments

*sigh* I got some long awaited cd's from my brother today, but our system cannot deal with 80 min cd's very well (yet) so it looks like we'll have to invest in new hardware. That is ok, but it won't happen anytime soon (I think) and there are some real goodies I wanted to play with. :(
Sara wrote on 4:39 PM - Link - Comments

Sunday, May 13

My mom has always been the one who has had the plesant duty of waking up us kids in the morning. She knew I never liked it and was really very happy when I got old enough to get up and out the door on my own, even though she always kept a close eye on me to make sure I got out the door in time. She has and always will be like that, so it was weird not having her watch over me the same way when I moved to the states. At least I didn't think she would. But at least once every month I get a phone call from her and it is always around the time when it's time to wake up and get going. I think she enjoys it a little bit, still being able to wake me up and make sure I'm awake, ok and ready for the day :) Happy Mothers day.
Sara wrote on 10:11 AM - Link - Comments

Saturday, May 12

Thursday, May 10

I have mixed feelings with this whole mothers day thing coming up. If I was paranoid (which I probably am in some regards) I would think that it only exists to remind me about my own inability to become a mother myself. There isn't anything physically wrong with me, but hubby got his tubes cut after he had the second child with his now ex-wife. It probably isn't the greatest idea for me to keep talking about it, but I cannot and will not let the emotions break me down from the inside because I hope to make them go away by ignoring them. They will never go away. They will always be there as a reminder about something which wasn't for me to be.
People keep talking about how becoming parents makes their life whole and thereby indicating how people, who for one reason or another cannot concieve are less than those who can. This is probably one of very few things in life, which I will never be able to accept. I keep hoping and keep getting drawn to look for solutions which can give that feeling of wholeness even though reality dictates something else.
Sara wrote on 4:02 AM - Link - Comments

Wednesday, May 9

I'm having this weird feeling tonight, that I'm missing out on something because I''m not somewhere else or doing something other than what I'm doing right now. Maybe because I just woke up from a good nap where I was having the experience of dreaming about someone I have never been dreaming about before and whom I have never met other than online meetings in various groups. It all probably doesn't mean anything though...
Sara wrote on 9:59 PM - Link - Comments

Just another one of those quiet sunny (might change later) days, where you feel like letting go of all responsebilities and do something just for you, with only a very minimal cosideration towards others. As usual it didn't work out that way, but the thought is nice and maybe next time I'll do it.
Sara wrote on 6:17 PM - Link - Comments

Tuesday, May 8

Hubby have a doctors appointment today, to get the results of the xrays which was taken last week and to determine where to go from here in regards to his shoulder. I really hope that it turns out to be something which can be taken care of without too much downtime for him. It will make it much easier on many accounts (not to forget the bank account). New Blurp: The x-rays didn't give the answer we had hoped/wished for, so hubby have been scheduled for a MRI next week. This is not what we needed to hear, because it means that he'll be out of commission for a while. Damn :(
Sara wrote on 1:22 PM - Link - Comments

Monday, May 7

One woman, one baby and 6 men. Who is the daddy...? *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb* *beeb*

That is how short you can sum up todays Maury Show.
Sara wrote on 3:44 PM - Link - Comments

I'm starting to get a little tiny bit of inspiration for my graphics site. It is kinda scary since I haven't been able to do any significant changes for ages., but I'm enjoying it for as long as it lasts.
Sara wrote on 10:29 AM - Link - Comments

I am starting to have probelms sleeping again. When I first got on the allergy meds they also helped me get some much needed sleep, but now I've started to wake up in the middle of the night, very early in the morning or just not sleep for very long.
Sara wrote on 10:03 AM - Link - Comments

Saturday, May 5

I've got my keys back again. After having been without �, �, � for more than 3 years I finally have them back where I can use them. Those 3 letters are the big difference between Danish and English and it is almost impossible to communicate in my native language without them. There are workarounds, but it takes more time and time away from communicating. Hubby has even talked about getting a costum set of keys made for my keyboard so I can switch between the Danish and US character set seemslessley. :)
Sara wrote on 9:22 AM - Link - Comments

Thursday, May 3

Wednesday, May 2

I miss smelling blooming flowers and freshly cut hay, instead of the fumes of overpriced gas.
I miss hearing the birds sing instead of the screetches of bent metal.
I miss the big waters and winds of the ocean instead of wind howling through every nook and cranny in a badly built apartment building.
I miss sitting in the garden instead of in a car on a parkinglot.
I miss blue skies instead of black clouds of smog.
I miss open fields instead of narrow cities where the next door neighbor hear you fart 10 minutes before you actually do it.

To quote Rolling Stones, "We gotta get out of this place"....
Sara wrote on 11:53 PM - Link - Comments

A domain as a birthday present for a dog!?!?! The mind boggles. Think I have to file this one in the "Only in America" category which holds so many of the other puzzling differencies between here and there.
Sara wrote on 5:07 PM - Link - Comments

I've been working on lots of new stuff for both SMG Design and New Horizons. Feels nice doing something on those pages for a change, since it has been so long and they have been left out in the cold for a while.
Sara wrote on 4:51 PM - Link - Comments

Thursday, May 31

Wednesday, May 30

Tuesday, May 29