Monday, April 30
Thank you Mousie for noticing my bad/sad mood. I'll reply to your mail soon, when I find my vision and my voice again :(
Sara wrote on 9:27 PM - Link - Comments
A lot of stressful things seems to be happening in peoples lives lately. One would almost think that it's some kind of new virus sweeping the place, because of so much happening to so many at the same time. Wish there was something I could do for you folks.
Sara wrote on 3:44 PM - Link - Comments
Sunday, April 29
I am starting to feel discriminated against every time I go online.
You see I'm not an American Citizen, but I live in the US. I'm not living in Denmark, but I'm a Danish citizen (for as long as it lasts). I don't own my own domain(s). I uitilize popup banners on my pages to get a mostly uninterrupted look and feel of my pages. I use Blogger and not Greymatter. I cannot charge people for the use of my designs. I do not have a job or children of my own blood. I live in a rented apartment. I am mortal and not ageless. All of these things are starting pop up as reasons for other people to exclude me from participating in various activities.
Why do I care? Because I am human. A human in the need of interacting with other people.
Sara wrote on 4:31 PM - Link - Comments
Friday, April 27
Icelyn that bites. Hope at least you find some kind of consolation about the whole thing.
Sara wrote on 10:52 AM - Link - Comments
Thursday, April 26
There are times when I think that the whole jump from being single without a clue about the future, to being married with two older (late teens early 20s) children is someones way of finally getting to the worse/better of me. I am not ready at all to deal with the affairs of older teens. We didn't grow up together and I haven't had time to practice on all of those parental duties that I sorta have as a stepmom. Am having a really hard time figuring out when not to get involved in things involving the kids and their dad (and partly me too) or leave it the heck alone.
Sara wrote on 11:45 PM - Link - Comments
The network at hubbys work was down yesterday, which was why I didn't hear anyhing from him. Right now we're waiting to find out if it's a tear in the rotator cuff (something he has had before), bonespurs or a form of artheritis. Artheritis is the least desireable outcome since they'll not be ablet o fix it for good, whereas a rip in the rotator cuff or bonespurs can be fixed in the OR. An OR trip will mean that he'll be out of commission for at least 3 months and on long term disability. Right now I cannot think of how it will affect us other than a few practical things will be very troublesome for us, because I cannot drive. Ahh well.
Hubby also got the same doc that I got and yet again he showed a next to purfect besidemanner and also managed to straighten out some less fortunate actions of our previous doctor. Thank god this guy truly is family practice oriented as opposed to our old one. :) (If anyone of you is living in the Cedar Rapids area and is looking for a new PCP let me know).
Sara wrote on 11:02 AM - Link - Comments
Wednesday, April 25
6 hours and counting.
Sara wrote on 7:04 PM - Link - Comments
Hubby went to the doc 3 hours ago to get his shoulderjoint checked out and I have yet to hear anything back about what eventually is wrong with it this time. I hate waiting and not knowing what is going on.
Sara wrote on 3:57 PM - Link - Comments
Tuesday, April 24
I am restless tonight. Can't find rest sitting down, doing nothing. I also feel like I could eat a horse. I'm not really that hungry, but somehow I just feel the need for gracing all day long. It got to have something to do with that rump Al was talking about earlier *g*
Sara wrote on 7:41 PM - Link - Comments
Please pray or do whatever you do in situations to help Kaycees colours alive a little bit longer. :(
Sara wrote on 6:15 PM - Link - Comments
I have just had the monthly telephone chat with my mom and she sounds like she is doing really, really good. THat is really a big relief knowing that, specially knowing just what is wrong with her and how bad she's been doing in the past. For now it takes a huge load off my shoulders and I can worry less about not being able to go visit like other people would be able to do with their families. My hope, though, is still that Bob and I will be able to travel to Denmark within the next year but a big puzzle has to be solved before that can happen.
Sara wrote on 11:17 AM - Link - Comments
Monday, April 23
They (Aethna Health Insurance) finally managed to get a billing statement right. That is really a switch from what we have been experiencing earlier, but I guess there is room for improvement in even the worst cases :) Now we just need the list of providers which we should have had at the beginning of the year and which was pushed back to the middle of March.
As a sidenote... It looks like a lot of people have been doing their own research on Aetna Health Insurance (They only work as a claims handler for DHs employer), because that is one of the most frequent searchterms bringing people to this site.
Sara wrote on 7:53 PM - Link - Comments
Archive and blog links are back up.
Sara wrote on 10:34 AM - Link - Comments
I have removed the archive and blog links until I get a seperate page up and running. Not what I wanted, but better than what I have right now.
Sara wrote on 7:54 AM - Link - Comments
*Scratching head* Obviously that dropdown menu code doesn't work here on Tripod, at least I get an error when trying to use it. Darn it. Back to the drawing board and make a page o'links and archives. Not what I wanted, but obviously yhe only thing I can get to work around this place.
Sara wrote on 6:14 AM - Link - Comments
Sunday, April 22
I might become a grandmother before 30 which really makes me feel old all of a sudden. Now it's just hoping that Chrissie can manage to carry her baby full term this time.
Sara wrote on 9:41 PM - Link - Comments
Goodnight, sleep well and sweet dreams :)
Sara wrote on 1:00 AM - Link - Comments
Saturday, April 21
This search request showed up in my referrers. Kinda disturbing, specially when looking through the other pages.
Sara wrote on 2:02 AM - Link - Comments
Friday, April 20
*breathing deeply while trying not to lose it completely* 'Scuse me while I go a dig a deep hole to hide in.
Sara wrote on 2:28 PM - Link - Comments
Wednesday, April 18
When people ask me what my profession back in Denmark was I keep forgetting there really isn't an american job classification for what I did. Normally I would just say social worker, but that is far from it. The official translation is "Social Educator" which is a mix of social worker, kindergarden teacher, councelor, therapist and a few other jobs. The basic idea was, perhaps still is, that one person is to follow an individual/family instead of having them run all over the place with badly coordinated specialists who each are deeply involved in their own profession but perhaps not as good at seeing the grand scheme of things. Workplaces can be everywhere from in the home of the individual/family to prisons, hospitals, schools, residential fostercare settings etc.
I never got to work within the field on a permanent basis before I left Denmark and today I am not sure that I will seek that kind of work whenever I get a working permit. Too much time will have lapsed, between graduation and now and I am not sure that I would be able to give of myself what this job deserves and need. Not to speak of all the recertification/training I would have to do before being let loose.
Sara wrote on 11:28 PM - Link - Comments
Barbara had weightloss surgery in early March. It really is quite an eye opener reading her pre and post-op journals about her emotional and physical battles towards better health. The idea about WLS is attractive, but I don't think it would be anything I could/would do unless it was the last straw keeping me alive.
Sara wrote on 8:31 PM - Link - Comments
I was surfing the page of a bookclub I am a member of and I clicked a link which had the following to say:
The Blank Rune: The Unknowable, The Divine
Blank is the end, blank the beginning. This is the Rune of total trust and should be taken as exciting evidence of your most immediate contact with your own true destiny, which, time and again, rises like the phoenix from the ashes of what we call fate.
The appearance of this Rune can portend a death. But that death is usually symbolic and may relate to any part of your life as you are living it now. Relinquishing control is the ultimate challenge for the Spiritual Warrior.
Drawing The Blank Rune may bring to the surface our deepest fears: Will I fail? Will I be abandoned? Will it all be taken away? And yet our highest good, our truest possibilities and all our fertile dreams are held within that blankness.
Willingness and permitting are what this Rune requires. The Blank Rune often calls for no less an act of courage than an empty-handed leap into the void. Drawing it is a direct test of faith.
The Unknowable represents the path of karma—the sum total of your actions and their consequences, the lesons that are yours for this lifetime. This Rune teaches that debts of old karma shift and evolve as you shift and evolve. Nothing is predestined: What beckons is the creative power of the unknown.
Whenever you draw The Blank Rune, take heart: Know that the work of self-change is progressing in your life.
Sara wrote on 1:42 PM - Link - Comments
It is going to be a day full of minor and major upgrades and adjustments done here and there around the different websites I've managed to pull together. Crunchblogger pretty much got finished yesterday, so no changes there but New Horizons will undergo a lot more changes as I finalize the move from NBCi to Topcities. Hopefully Topcities will turn out to be a worthy host without too many of the same problems NBCi have had during my time there.
Sara wrote on 7:30 AM - Link - Comments
Icelyn talks about how she got started using blogger and how she couldn't get it all to work in the beginning and then resolved to do it by hand before giving blogger yet another try.
That is almost identical to how I got started. I remember to read about Blogger in the Digital Divas eZine and wanted to try it out, but for some reason I just couldn't get it to work. Instead I too resolved to do it the old fasion way of opening the html editor, type what I wanted to type, ftping and all of that fun stuff. Needless to say I didn't get to log as often as I do now because it was just too much of a hassle to do all those things just to publish a few lines of text every now and then (not counting the fact that I wasn't very good a wirting the semilong pieces I do manage to make now). Then Ann-S of Eyeblog made an announcement in her sites newsletter that she had started a blog. I gave blogger another try and for some reason everything just clicked for me this time round.
I didn't have a real clear idea about what I wanted to do with this tool I finally had masted to a level which was working comfortable for me, but it was a neat tool to help me move into a different area of personal webpublishing which I sorta had wanted to explore for a while. I'm still not all that sure what In the blink of an eye.. (formerly known as Crunchblog) really is about, though lately I have started to see a pattern in some of my writings (those who doesn't deal with me whining about different personal matters which I just have to air before I explode).
Sara wrote on 2:26 AM - Link - Comments
Tuesday, April 17
A few changes here and there. Please let me know if anything is amiss or loads too slow.
Sara wrote on 10:41 PM - Link - Comments
I should have known better, not to subscribe to newsgroups relating to visa and immigration issues when we have yet to start our own process. Though it is great to read about people getting their permissions and their lives straightned out, it also hurts to see how fast it can be done once the applications are in. I want to be able to work or not work, I want to be able to drive and move around by my own free will and not having to depend on Bob all the time, I want to interact with real live people instead of characters on a computer screen, I want to become an independent person yet again. I want a life.
Sara wrote on 5:11 PM - Link - Comments
There is something going on in regards to the Tim McVeigh case which I don't understand. A note from a Captain in a Oklahoma fire department is making its rounds on the net, and this note encourages people not to buy Tim McVeighs book when it hits the stands. This note is usually followed by strong words of hatred towards Tim McVeigh and the acts which landed him on deathrow and claiming that he has had more than enough exposure. This is where my understanding ends.
Why is it ok for some people to spread hatred towards some people and at the same time disallow those people a chance of replying to that hatred. It is like watching a public lynching taking place right before my eyes. Is it really any surprise that kids are starting to react violently, when they're being taught that it is ok to hate so deeply as some of the comments made in connection with this note is indicating?
I do not agree with the actions of Tim McVeigh, but people do not make yourself guilty of the same actions and teach our kids that is ok for some but not for others to display such hatred.
Sara wrote on 11:31 AM - Link - Comments
I used to like the long trips on the road, bu now they're becoming more and more of a burden for both Bob and I. It is not that we don't like going where we go, but all the driving with no chance of switching seats and do something to make it feel like the time is going faster. It's getting too hard on the body. But aside from that we had a good weekend with the kids and inlaws :)
Sara wrote on 9:23 AM - Link - Comments
Friday, April 13
We just put the kitties in their carriers so Bob could take 'em to the kennel for the weekend and Shadow are letting him know what he consists of :P I'm dying you *&%&(^%)^ how could do this &*%(&^%)& to me you ^&*^)%$^%#$ human. Thank god Flash walks into the carrier himself when we show him the door. He has always been the easy one.
Sara wrote on 9:48 AM - Link - Comments
Being awake this early in the morning, when hubby and I have to be on the road most of the day, is not amusing. At least I went to bed early yesterday and can probably catch some more sleep in the car. Have a happy holiday everyone.
Sara wrote on 5:16 AM - Link - Comments
Thursday, April 12
Tuesday, April 10
Robin comments on a mail she got complaining that she is talking about her dying cat instead saving humans. *sigh* Some people just have a hard time understanding how important pets can be/are for some people.
Sara wrote on 11:06 AM - Link - Comments
This man claims there might be a relation between the domesticated cat and schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Personally I have my doubts and am wondering a little bit about how he is going to take into account the proven facts that pet therapy can work wonders for a bad mental health.
Sara wrote on 10:57 AM - Link - Comments
Monday, April 9
I found this link through my referrers. It is a very heart breaking story which really makes my stomac turn a couple of times :(
Sara wrote on 10:45 PM - Link - Comments
I knew something had to be up when Xoom/NBCi cut their messageboard based support away in favour of mail only support. A sad reality.
Sara wrote on 9:24 PM - Link - Comments
Shit I forgot all about my brothers birthday 2 days ago :( That is not good.
Sara wrote on 4:43 PM - Link - Comments
Bob and I will be out of the house during the coming easter weekend, so it's big laundry day today. Not something which I really enjoy doing, but I get even less enjoyment from running myself to death trying to get everything done a couple of hours before leaving so today it is. I'm getting tired already and doesn't really feel like doing all the work involved. Feels a little bit like I'm not totally over what happened last weekend and still trying to get used to all the meds I have in my body now. Shit happens. Sometimes they call it life and sometimes something else.
Sara wrote on 10:43 AM - Link - Comments
*coughing my insides out* Should never have smoked those two cigs yesterday. Ahh well went 8 whole days without, so back to non smoking conditions for me.
Sara wrote on 9:24 AM - Link - Comments
Saturday, April 7
It's getting a new hairdo-day today. I'm not quite sure what I want them to do, except that I don't want the just plaine old cut-up like the normally give me because that is the easiest to work with when you're not a morning person. I also want some color to it, but only highlights. I cannot expect Bob to hang around to wait for a full coloring session and I'm not quite sure if I have the patience for it either. I was thinking of getting a perm, but then I got to think about how my hair usually looks at the end of the lifespan of a perm. Not very good, at least it didn't use to but so many changes have taken place while I was on anti depressants. The feel of my hair is one of those places which I've noticed was affected. I wonder if I am the only one who has noticed that kind of changes, but I have never seen or heard anything similar from anyone, so maybe it is me.
Sara wrote on 9:41 AM - Link - Comments
I'm sitting here waiting for the drugs in the nasal spray to kick in and knock me out. For some reason they tend to almost knock me out cold for another couple of hours of sleep. I am glad that I am a fulltime stay at home kind of person so I don't have to worry about falling asleep. Yes I could easily take thenm in the evening, but I need the effect of the drugs more throughout the day than I do at night. Who knows, maybe it's just a matter of my body getting used to these drugs in the first place.
Sara wrote on 9:31 AM - Link - Comments
Friday, April 6
I am in the tutorial mode. Meaning that I've been surfing around looking for PSP tutorials and trying out a couple of them.
Sara wrote on 9:17 PM - Link - Comments
Thursday, April 5
Blogging might be a bit sparse the next couple of days, because we've got several systems of heavy thunderstorms rolling in one after the other. That in itself isn't so bad, except that out power blinks on and off by the mere mention of the possibility of such storms. TG we don't have to rely on the alarm clock to get up in the morning anymore or we would be royally screwed. I like thunderstorms a lot, though I can live without the tornadoes which sometimes follows too.
Sara wrote on 10:35 PM - Link - Comments
Al got an explanation. Hope things get better from now on, now you know what's going on.
Sara wrote on 8:19 AM - Link - Comments
Wednesday, April 4
Aww shoot I forgot to put the ginger in the dish. Would make a world of difference, but I guess it has to wait until another time. Yep I do cook at this time of day, because Bob is working the late shift at work. I do prefer to do the cooking before he leaves for work though, but today was cut a little short for various reasons.
Sara wrote on 11:00 PM - Link - Comments
There once was a time where all I wanted was long, long hair. Now all I dream about is hair as short and easy to deal with as possible. I cannot stand hair in my eyes or hair which seems to be mostly lifeless and hard to control. I need a haircut.
Sara wrote on 9:37 PM - Link - Comments
Ahh darn it. I caught myself reaching out for a package of cigarettes (empty) that hubby had left on his computer desk and now I feel the cravings all over again. It's hard killing old habbits :(
Sara wrote on 3:55 PM - Link - Comments
I was talking about my doc yesterday and how good a bedside manner he's got. Well I came to think that the only drawback to that place is, that it's actually a family practice residence program which means that we get the chance to get a new doc every so often. That in itself is not too bad, but on the other hand you rarely get to a longtime working relationship with a doc who knows your ins and outs (so to speak) and have followed you for a long time. On the other hand we do get a chance to give some valued input to the youngsters of the trade which hopefully will keep them a bit closer to the ground. I have had PCPs which were not worth the money spent on their education, but unfortunately they were of too old a school or senority that you couldn't do anything (White brotherhood among doctors) but finding a new doc.
Sara wrote on 8:30 AM - Link - Comments
Tuesday, April 3
Hmmm There seems to be trend that whenever I'm not blogging for most of the day I'm getting the most hits, but whenever I'm chattering away almost noone is stopping by. Makes me wonder if people want me to shot up? ;P
Sara wrote on 7:37 PM - Link - Comments
Hey it's actually positive blogging for a change. I like that :)
Sara wrote on 5:48 PM - Link - Comments
No astma, but allergies for sure. The doc didn't feel it was worth doing the skin test since it's a year round thing. He also said that he didn't belive in asking people to get rid of their pets because of allergies. Pets are family and you don't get rid of family. I really like this new doc. Excellent bedside manner and down to earth about things. He even encouraged me to use alcohol in my cooking. No doc has ever done that before *g*
And the best thing I'm also loosing weight. Not anything dramatic and fast, but slow enough so my body can get used to it and I don't have to worry about regaining after a diet. I still have quite a lot to get rid off but I'm on the right trac and that's what counts in the end. All I really have done is moderating what I'm eating, how much I'm eating of it and how often. :)
Sara wrote on 5:46 PM - Link - Comments
Monday, April 2
The cravings are strong tonight and I think it's a good idea that Bob is a work or I probably would bite his head off. Restless, jittery, walking around in circles etc. Blah
Sara wrote on 9:06 PM - Link - Comments
Pheee!! We ordered a keyboard overlay at Egghead a couple of days ago. The day after we got an email saying it had been shipped and gave us the UPS tracing #. Next day we got another mail from Egghead saying the item was backordered. Yet when we check UPS they say it's somewhere here in Iowa and should be delivered today. Just don't think that will happen since it's past 5 and they rarely diliver to private costumors after 4.30 pm. If Egghead was trying to pull an april fools joke on their costumors I am not impressed. They could do it with their site in general, just don't do it with order confirmations etc.
Sara wrote on 5:12 PM - Link - Comments
I"m starting to get the sense of smell and taste back and gawd is it terrible. It is going to be interesting to see how it goes next time we cook with loads of spices. Wonder if I'm going to tasye more of them or just tatste them differently.
I've been thinking about why I haven't stopped smoking until the day I litterally couodn't breathe. I have seen all the campains, pictures, movies etc but somehow they didn't impress me. Maybe because I've been numbed by too many of them. They've been all over the place for so long that you learn to filter them out after a while. It wasn't until I felt the effects of smoking so close up that I couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm on day 4 and the cravings are not so bad anymore. It probably helps a lot that Bob is going outside when he wants a cig, but maybe he will join me in the non-smoking club sometime. I don't want to pressure him though. I belive that the best result will come if he decides to do it instead of me askign him to stop. It has to be him and not me. It was the worst right after dinner last night, but I didn't give in to the craving. According to what I have read in some places it will get easier from now on.
Sara wrote on 12:13 PM - Link - Comments
Mousie/Jema to me it looks more like you're about to laugh your a** off at something you read somewhere.
Sara wrote on 11:53 AM - Link - Comments
Di I'm still tugging and hoping for the best for everyone involved.
Sara wrote on 11:45 AM - Link - Comments
Those of you who is reading Crunchblog and have my email in your addressbooks, please get an updated virus definition file and run a complete virus check on your machines to make sure you are clean or clean it if you're infected.
Sara wrote on 12:41 AM - Link - Comments
Sunday, April 1
Dance is a brilliant crafted flashmovie :) Good watch it and laugh while you're there. :)
Sara wrote on 10:07 PM - Link - Comments
I am doing so much better today and also managed to get a good nights sleep. Hubby said I was asleep before my head hit the pillow :) No wonder since I hadn't been sleeping for quite a while. But for now I'm following doctors orders.
Sara wrote on 5:04 PM - Link - Comments
I really hope we get to see Gayle back in action sometime. I miss seeing her types online.
Sara wrote on 4:40 PM - Link - Comments
Well I did end up in the ER after all. Almost hyperventilated on the way there, but somehow managed to get it under control. The docs think it was an astma attack and gave me some of the good stuff before sending me home with more of the good stuff. Never have breathing felt so good as it does right now. Thanks Al for kicking my butt. I owe you one.
Sara wrote on 3:20 AM - Link - Comments